Saturday, April 3, 2010

sweet Heaven

this is kinda long and wordy with an assortment of pictures from "easter month"....aves wearing her bunny ears and talking to daddy on an errand run, making palm branches and singing hosanna, working through the resurrection eggs she got from church, and dyeing some eggs.

if i could describe the first 3 months of 2010 with one word, i think it would be nauseating.

first trimester- nauseating.
haiti earthquake....waiting and hoping and praying for a miracle that did not happen - nauseating.
the brokenness of friendship, the darkness of sin - nauseating.

my life has been pretty "even steven", if you know what i mean.


not a lot of drama. not a lot of heart ache. i've not committed any "big" sins. i've not betrayed or broken or decieved anyone in any huge way. i am generally a pretty good person, ya know?


try to be helpful, try to serve, try to do the things that God wants me to, i suppose. and i think that sometimes without realizing it, subconciously even, i feel prideful about that.


at vanguard we do communion every week.


and i had an amazing moment the other sunday.


i was about to drink that cup and eat that cracker and i was so moved by the Holy Spirit as He was seemingly saying to me

"you are capable of all of that crap. yes, YOUR heart is capable of doing the worst things imagineable....that's why i had to die for you. cling to me. cling to me. be ever thankful and humbled by grace."


and my prayer has been, after that powerful moment....

(i love that she's watching dave and doing what he does)

Oh God, let there be no room for judgement in my heart. no room. if my heart is truly thankful and humbled by grace, there will be no room for judgement. period. ever. let this be true of me, true of my heart.

(oh my, what a face)

i was serenading my two beauties with the old hymn "because He lives" tonight on our drive home from grandma's house.


and i felt the excitment well inside. i CAN face tomorrow. ALL fear is gone. wow.


His Death. His Resurection. they mean everything to me. EVERYTHING.


and after living this first three months of 2010, let me tell you, Heaven seems that much sweeter.

i'm getting more excited by the minute.


Kim said...

Have a wonderful Easter day! Yes, we should have dinner again soon. Remember I have that $30 gift card to use for the Blue Star downtown! :) as it gets closer to summer and into warmer weather we want to have you all over for a bbq and all that great summer patio dining!

cmc said...

What a great post - love seeing the girls' faces and glimpsing the heart of such a fabulous lady. Thanks for letting us see into you.

Courtney said...

precious post.