they grow up

there is a profound thought that hits me at random moments throughout this season of life.

this thought almost always causes tears to well.

and the ironic thing is, this profound thought, is not really profound at all. it's cliche.

you hear it at baby showers, you hear it in grocery store check out lines, at chick fil a.......you hear it from your sister, from your mom, your grandma. really, you hear it from every single mom out there.

these kids? they grow up.

that's it. that's the thought that had me wiping tears at 6 p.m. tonight.

dave was working late and all i wanted was to get this house cleaned, laundry done, dishes put away and these kids in bed. my list of to do's was long and the kids were just distractions, adding to the mess, delaying the achievement of my goals for the evening. and in that moment of very much believing that these kids were preventing me from doing the things that i actually needed to be doing, i felt the Holy Spirit whisper

"there will always be messes to clean"

that jolted my spirit. i sat down on the couch. avery began telling me an elaborate story about a rabbit coming into a house that she was currently building with legos and ashton climbed up next to me, pulled on my hair tye, undoing my pony tail, and asked "i play with hair?".

and i watched them, trying to drink all of avery's 4 year old ness and all of ashton's 2 year old ness in. (avery says "in fact" a lot. ashton breathes heavily while trying to get my hair just right and she instructs me "look down, momma" "stay there, momma")

i asked dave the other day if he thought we'd remember all of the crazy cuteness that ashton brings to the table as a two year old. he asked "well, what do you remember about avery at 2?"

oh geez.

there are memories there. a couple things she used to say and do. but, truth is, avery is constantly redefining herself as she lives and grows. she becomes new almost monthly. the avery in my mind is the 4 year old she is now, not the two year old she was then. i have become entirely too unfamiliar with who she used to be.

this is the only summer that avery will be four.

this is the only summer that ashton will be two.

this is the only summer that ian will be a baby.

there will always, always be messes.

but these kids? they grow up.

this picture was taken a couple months ago i think.

oh look, there's that missing two year old.