Wednesday, May 1, 2013

turn your face to Me.

it's amazing to me the way i can experience 2 completely different emotions and outlooks on life within the span of about 10 minutes.

i mean, this morning, i'm texting pictures to dave and sending them to mom via facebook about how much i'm loving schooling at home and how much fun math is with aves.  exhibit a.

all three were working at the table.  ash with a melissa and doug felt pizza, avery graphing color tiles and ian baking wooden cookies and birthday cake.  and i'm sipping my coffee and feeling thankful for the slow pace of life that homeschooling allows for.

and, i am not kidding, moments after i sent those pics, i was sending kids to timeouts for hitting sisters and/or bad attitudes.  and biting my lip (does anyone else ever do this?) to keep from yelling.  

we finished our math lesson and i told them that mommy needed recess.  now i'm locked in my room praying for peace to win over the chaos that i sometimes feel in my heart.  

it's crazy, because i know and believe that my outlook and my thankfulness does not have to change based on the behavior of my kids.  

the peace.
the thankfulness.

they can be consistent no matter the circumstance.  whether they are sweetly playing with their educational manipulatives or if they are falling apart from their tiny sinful hearts, i know that if my eyes are where they should be, the peace and thankfulness will not falter.  

makes me think of peter and those darn waves. 

i hear Him say.

turn your face to Me. 


Courtney said...

i needed to read this. i also need to start biting my lip ;)

my heart went from peaceful to FURIOUS in a splitsecond today. trying to get it back to peaceful...

Tisha said...

I don't bother biting my lip, I just go ahead and shout. ;-) I tend to look at all of life like you described your homeschool day - the beautiful and awful and sublime and fretful and wondrous and frustrating and easy and difficult and wretchedly hart wrenching and encouragingly heart warming - rolled into one messy, messy, but breathtakingly exquisite life. You are certainly not alone in the fluctuation of emotion. We are women after all. :)

Laura said...

I don't homeschool, but I get it. Unfortunately, I usually forgo the lip biting ad just let 'em have it. Lip biting might be a better choice for me.

Everyday is mixed with every emotion. Coming to terms with that has really released me from some of the guilt and heaviness of it all.