rough

rough day. seriously rough day.

i felt so ill-equipped to be called "mom" today.

i had no patience....i could feel anger rising to the surface all day long.

part of the problem is ashton is sick. she woke up in the middle of the night saturday night with the infamous croup cough. so sad. dave and i took turns getting up with her.

this is how i found them on sunday morning.


dave took the aves on a walk in the wagon last night





and today, well, we did fun stuff.


i hid some letters in the sand so she could find them





and she finished her kumon tracing book so we had a little ice cream party.

(looking through all of her hard work :))


(getting her certificate)



(chowing down)


but even though we did fun stuff, i still felt sad and tired and frustrated and angry all day.

at one point when ashton wouldn't eat, or sleep, or do anything but cry. i just joined her. and we were just looking at each other, tears streaming down both of our faces. and i was praying for wisdom for me and comfort for her.

she's asleep now. and has been since 7. i pray she sleeps well all night and wakes up more like herself. i miss her. she just hasn't been ashton the past two days. and it is wearing me out.

days like this really make me want to be by myself, for like, a really, really long time.